Confidential to Job Seekers: Talk to Strangers!

Okay, I’ve got a very cool story to tell, but forewarning: It’s going to sound like I’m bragging. I swear I’m not. It’s just this is an amazing story and I just happen to be a player in it. Okay? Okay, here goes:

About a month ago, a brand new client of mine was flying me to their Connecticut HQ from Albuquerque. This part is noteworthy only in the sense that it was a rare opportunity for me to fly First Class (I didn’t ask for it, they just gave it to me). Only problem: It was stand-by First Class. So you can imagine what happened next: On the ABQ to DFW leg, I’m trudging down the aisle along with everyone else, trying to not shoot envious big-eyed orphan glances at those comfortably settled in the big leather seats up front, already happily grasping their drinks on their broad armrests.

As I’m consoling myself down the aisle, the little voice inside my head says, “Something really good is going to come out of this.” (I may be codependent but that’s nothing compared to the codependency of the little voice inside my head.)

I sit next a guy who is flipping through the pictures in his digital camera, and being a chatty kinda gal who also happens to live in one of the nation’s top vacation destinations, I ask him, “Going home after a vacation to Santa Fe?” Nope. Wrongo. Come to find out his wife and children live in Albuquerque but he works in Tennessee. “Oh? Doing what?” He gives me one of those highly technical, exotic foreign answers that would make anyone say blankly, “ohhhhh, how nice for you…say where is that beverage cart anyway?”

Turns out, it wasn’t so nice for him. Every time he went home for a visit, it meant that he would have to wrench himself away from his family, and his heart would be going crack, crack, crack, all the way back to his dismal bachelor life back in Tennessee. He was leaving Albuquerque this time freshly determined to find a job within a pillow’s throw of his cherished wife and two adoring sons. And so he told me all about it.

Now remember: His expertise is highly specialized, highly technical, and to make matters worse, highly manufacturing. The kind of job that would make elicit the response, “Well, good luck with that.” But not me. Oh no. I said, “Send me your resume and I’ll see what I can do.” Not like I know anything or anyone in manufacturing. But, hey, you never know, right?

Long to short: He starts his new job in Albuquerque tomorrow. And now his two sons quite rightly think: “Dad has the coolest job in town.” And he really does. And it’s in town!

Here’s a quick summary of what happened between then and tomorrow: That night I got to my hotel room in Stamford. And there was his resume emailed to me. I was a) tired; b) on major chocolate withdrawal and c) thinking, “what are the chances of anything coming this? What’s on tv?” But that darn inner voice chimed in, “Larry King can wait. You promised, now get cracking.”
Yeah, but I promised then. This is now. I’m tired. And besides what are the odds that anything could come of this?

Now there were only two companies that came to mind as possible employers for this guy. But really, what could possibly be the chances that they would have an opening that would exactly fit his skills? I looked up the first company, and discovered that they are hiring out of San Carlos, CA, and looking for a svp/hr. So I figured they probably wouldn’t be hiring someone like this guy right now. I totally didn’t even bother with them.

Then I looked at the other company, found the svp/hr, figured out what her email address would probably be, and sent her an email saying, “You don’t know me but there’s this guy I met on the plane today who….” I attached his resume, detaching myself from any residual interest in the outcome. And then went about scaring up some chocolate and finding CNN on the tube. I spent the next several days working with this new client and thinking about myself.

Back in New Mexico, this lovely svp/hr took the time to open an email from a stranger, opened the attachment, and discovered a possible match for a position long open and needing attention pretty darn quick. (I just love email, don’t you?)

Next thing I hear: The guy comes back to Albuquerque upon their invitation, surprises his sons by picking them up unexpectedly at school, goes to a series of interviews at this company the next day, is offered the job of his dreams before he even gets home. (I just love cell phones, don’t you?)

From my perspective – and from the perspective of anyone even remotely involved in HR – life is full of happenstance matches that make for happy career stories. So for me, it’s a nifty story that makes me smile.

But can you imagine what it must have been like for this guy? Of all the flights between ABQ and DFW, and of all the seats on the plane, he has to sit next to this chatty woman. And then guess what? She’s the opening conduit to a dream come true.

It is actually his doing that makes this a story with a happy ending. He was willing to talk to a stranger. So there’s a tip for you: Talk to strangers; tell anyone who will listen who you are and what you want.

It will improve the odds.

A special note from Martha: If you’re a manager, your company is counting on you to be an engaging leader. But what exactly does that mean? And how do you do engagement? Just because you’re brilliant at your technical skills, that doesn’t mean that you’re a natural at people skills. New managers need a book that can help them figure it out in simple, straightforward ideas.

What do you speak? Boo Hooo? or Woo HOOO!

I’ve been playing with the title of this posting over recent days. And to be honest with you, a couple of titles I have been especially fond of are as follows: “What Am I, Your Mommy?” And “No One Wants A Whiner.” But that would be mean-spirited, wouldn’t it? But I’ve got to tell you, based on, like, 85% of the emails I’ve been getting from job-seeking readers recently, I wouldn’t be hiring those people either! In fact, based on the boo hoo factor, I don’t even bother to respond to most of them (and you know who you are…that response email that you didn’t get? That’s me.).

Believe me, I’m not pointing the finger at anyone without pointing three back at myself. I know what it means to be completely at sea, not knowing where my place is in the world. I’ve even been accused of self-pity, but that was just because the accuser just like the rest of the world didn’t understand me – or appreciate me or hire me or get me or….. Get the idea?

You know those wonderful moments when the right words at the right time hit you right between the eyes? A subtle suggestion that you consider the same things but through a different light changes your perspective forever. That happened to me about 10 years ago when I was holed up in a borrowed house on Cape Cod in the depths of one of the snowiest, coldest winters on record. I was flat broke. The few people I knew in this small town shunned me like existential life confusion might be contagious. (One of the shunners is a writer too. And I found myself as an unpleasant character in one of her published short stories a few years later. She didn’t even bother changing my name. Now that was a bummer. I have the last laugh, though. My Amazon sales rankings are always much better than hers. Not that I’m holding a grudge or anything.)

The previous summer wasn’t much better either. I spent it on the basement sofa of a generous and way patient friend who took me in after I was stranded in Columbus, OH, after a client refused to pay me a desperately needed (and much earned fee) because I turned him down in regarding, shall we say, another matter. See? I can go there with the best of you!

Anyway, back to the Cape Cod house and those right words. It was definitely one of those times that Judy Collins calls the “fallow time.” But one weekend a friend of mine came up from New Haven to spend a few days on the blustery beaches. And in the evenings we’d sit wrapped in afghans, talking about life, and basically why I thought it, well, sucked. (Normally, I don’t like to use that expression, but in this case, it’s the only one that works.)

I whined (I mean, said): “I know I need a job, but I can’t bring myself to go around the Cape pleading with people to give me a chance to show what I can do.”

To which my friend, Patricia, said, “It’s not about what you need, it’s about what you can give.”

Thwack! Did you hear that? It’s the sound of an arrow of break-through brilliance leaving its bow and aiming straight between my eyes, which slowly crossed as I said, “ooooohhhhhh.” And suddenly, indulging in my mopes seemed actually selfish.

Did I happen to mention that Patricia is a coach? I think she’s one of the few true coaches who are actually born to the work. Just being around her makes you inspired to lose weight, do a The Firm dvd all the way through, and add another six digits to your annual salary.

Her right time/right words words changed my life (well at least my perspective – my The Firm dvds only get my attention when it’s time to dust. And often not even then).

And I suddenly started thinking of my search for meaningful (i.g., paying) work as being an intersection where I can introduce my passion and abilities with real market need out there. How selfish of me to keep holed up and scared in my (well, someone else’s) house when there are people out there who actually need what I can do. And what I can do would actually make them happy.

All of which is to say: It’s completely understandable how in your pain it’s easy to lose sight of who you really are, what gives you true joy and how you can benefit the planet. And suddenly you start talking about yourself in high, squeaky, whiney tones in terms of what you need and your long litany of frustrations. And my all-time favorite expression starts to surface in your mind and escape your lips: “Yeah but.”

Another arrow between the eyes happened last fall. I was Randy Pausch came on to deliver his now-famous Last Lecture on Oprah. If you haven’t seen it, where have you been? Do it now. No, really, stop reading and do it right this very minute. We'll wait for you.

You’ll see that among the many brilliant things he says, he says that we each have the choice to be Eyore or Tigger. TIgger spends his life bouncing for joy (a friend of mine has a Tigger cartoon on her fridge that says “no bouncing before breakfast.” Cracks me up every time). Eyore looks at life through one big self-pitying monocle of mope.

Now I ask you, which one would you like to hang out with? Which one would you prefer to hire? I’m guessing Tigger. Tigger speaks in Woo Hoo! And, not to rhyme or anything, but if it rhymes, you know it’s gotta be true: Tigger speaks in Woo Hoo, and so you should too!

Even if things are way crappy, there is always something to bounce about. Even that little smidgeon of joy is something you can give. And eventually you’ll be able to figure out a way to sell it, because people will want to have a piece of you and your passion.

(Here’s another link to lift your spirits…it comes from The Secret, and it’s a minute of amazing images to make you really glad to get up in the morning and be standing on this particular planet. )

And so in closing, allow me to just say: Woo HOOOOO! That is, as they say in the Hoky Pokey, "what it's all about."

A special note from Martha: If you’re a manager, your company is counting on you to be an engaging leader. But what exactly does that mean? And how do you do engagement? Just because you’re brilliant at your technical skills, that doesn’t mean that you’re a natural at people skills. New managers need a book that can help them figure it out in simple, straightforward ideas.

That’s why I wrote The Truth About Getting the Best From People. It’s a book made up of 49 short, simple truths designed to help new managers understand how their beliefs and behaviors directly impact their employees’ passion factor on the job.

Click on the title and check it out! I hope you’ll enjoy it!

Should You Take a Job With a Company That's Laying People Off?

I have to hand it to my dad. By and large he gave me some very good advice over the years – much of which I resolutely ignored. Among his favorite topics: Stop thinking about boys, start paying attention to the headlines. Learn how to touch type. Don’t write things out first, get in the habit of composing as you type (which I’m doing this very minute, thanks Dad). Don’t smoke (check). Don’t eat at your desk, you don’t want to develop that hand-to-mouth creativity crutch (sorry, Dad, I goofed on that one). “At your age the men you should be looking for are….” Funny how the phrase “at your age” totally changes its meaning over the years, replacing one category of guy with another. Unfortunately, according to him, we’re now down to widowers who really loved their dearly departeds v1.0. Sheesh.

(Pretty good advice though; I just need a little time to warm up to that one.)

Another piece of advice unfortunately backfired on him. “Get a job that’s recession-proof,” he advised in the late 70s, which rang like a living death knell to my writer’s ears. If we were living in Southern California, like The Graduate, that would have spelled P-L-A-S-T-I-C-S. But we were living in Washington DC and so his advice spelled G-O-V-E-R-N-M-E-N-T. Just like the career path he chose. The government gig was one of those secure-for-life deals. The Feds never lay people off, or so the thinking was in those days.

Now my dad loved his work. No…he craved his work. And I couldn’t complain, his job took him all over the world, and most of the time we got to go with him – Berlin, Munich, Vienna, Madrid, Brussels, Miami (if you paid attention in history class, you’ll get the drift of what he did for a living. Hint: Matt Damon). But we weren’t with him in the fall 1977, when he was in Mexico City giving a lecture to a classroom of students, and a rap on the glass panel of the classroom door netted an unceremoniously delivered pink slip. Adios,muchacho, or Mr. Feingold, as he was cooperatively called by his students, who pretty much knew otherwise.

All of which is to say that you can be really smart about your career path, totally dedicated to your work, get knock-out performance ratings (you can even save the planet from instant, nuclear annihilation), and still get the dreaded pink slip. You can even think you’re making a savvy choice based on all the prognosticating reports in the weekly newsmagazines about what the hot careers will be in the near future. And still find yourself out on your, well, laptop.

So how smart is it to take a job with a company that’s laying people off? Could be very smart, depending on what you want, who you are, where you are in your career, and whether the company knows what it’s doing. It seems counterintuitive to see job listings placed by companies who have announced massive layoffs. I mean, why would anyone want to take a job there? Here are some things to consider:

Good reasons to take the job:

You’re just starting your career and the company is filling its new-hire pipeline with high potential newbies. Some companies have the foresight to know that their future depends on grooming a wealth of early careerists who might be around for a while. You know that this company at least has the long-term perspective to believe that it will survive the current crisis and will need people just like you in the long run. There’s at least some kind of talent management plan in place. It might not be so apparent to the people boxing up the contents of their desks, but at least you can get started in your career there. Even if you do get laid off three years down the road (remember, no promises), three years at that company are better than three years saving yourself for a non-existent promise and killing afternoons watching Dr. Phil.

The company is changing strategy and the job you’re applying for directly serves that strategy. No matter what kind of work you want to pursue in the corporate world, you can find a company that regards your interests and skills as an essential piece of their revenue-generating machine. “How does this position fit your strategy moving forward?” would be a very smart question to ask the interview. A clear response will tell you that, for the time being, your job is relatively secure.

The company would look great on your resume. So what if it turns out you’re only there for a couple of years? If the company is top notch, the training, exposure, insights you get could be like an MBA course in a A Player graduate school.

You need the skills and experience that this job will give you. Certain career paths require certain tickets to be punched. And depending on where you are in your life and career, your career path ticket may be more important than job security or the prospect of having to explain to people why you’re in the job market again a few years down the road.

Signs that the job might not be the best choice:

The hiring manager sends off angry or distracted vibes. Listen to your instincts. In a company that’s laying off dozens, hundreds or thousands of people, you’re going to be walking past empty desks and bummed out people. That’s natural. Tragic, but to be expected. However, if the person interviewing you for the job – especially if the person would be your supervisor – is giving you the impression that “this place is a pit,” go with that. There are way too many stories of people quitting perfectly good jobs to take on a better-paying position elsewhere, only to find themselves canned along with the rest of their new department before they have even received their new business cards.

Your interviewer can’t clearly paint the picture for you as to how this position directly serves the company strategy. Can you understand and explain in one simple, easy sentence how this job is essential to the company’s direction? No? Call it a day.

The job isn’t exactly a new one and the person you’re replacing isn’t exactly a young one. Take a look around the prospective new department or company. Anyone over the age of, say, 45? No? Better find out why not. If the company itself is young or in a cutting edge business, like fashion or video games, perhaps there’s a good reason why all the employees are young. Or perhaps the downsizing company handed out absolutely irresistible early (and totally voluntary) early retirement packages. Check it out before making any assumptions – or talking yourself out of an instinctual gut feeling. A company without laugh lines could be a company without integrity.

You need some sign of stability on your resume. This isn’t about the company, it’s about you. If you are a job hopper, and you have a track record of being in one job for only a year or so, you might want to mix it up a little bit and find a company where you can be reasonably sure that you’ll be staying for a while. Happily, job-hopping doesn’t have the stigma it used to have, as long as you can clearly tell a story of how each position has built your skills, knowledge, growth and maturity – all of which tells an employer good things about you. But, even in fast-moving economic times, it’s smart to pepper your resume with a little longevity every now and then. If this is the time to do that, make very sure that this employer won’t be taking the hatchet to your department or position any time soon.

So that’s my advice, for what it’s worth. And just think: I wrote the whole thing without going to the kitchen once. Thanks, Dad.

A special note from Martha: If you’re a manager, your company is counting on you to be an engaging leader. But what exactly does that mean? And how do you do engagement? Just because you’re brilliant at your technical skills, that doesn’t mean that you’re a natural at people skills. New managers need a book that can help them figure it out in simple, straightforward ideas.

That’s why I wrote The Truth About Getting the Best From People. It’s a book made up of 49 short, simple truths designed to help new managers understand how their beliefs and behaviors directly impact their employees’ passion factor on the job.

Click on the title and check it out! I hope you’ll enjoy it!

How to Land the Leadership Job of Your Dreams

With the jobs picture swinging away from your favor, we know that there are more qualified and talented people competing for fewer jobs. So once you and your fellow candidates are matched for skills and number of years of experience, you have to find other ways to set yourself apart and shine brighter than your competition. You can compete by being the cheapest to hire – but that would be a bummer. (And who wants to work for a cheapskate company anyway?)

Here’s a better way to stand out and get paid what you deserve: Show your interviewer that you have the heart and smarts to hire, inspire, lead and keep great people.

Regardless of what the economy is doing, first-rate companies haven’t forgotten that creating and sustaining an engaged workforce continues to be the secret to their competitive edge. And they want managers who will help them make that happen.

Engagement continues to be where it’s at: Top-drawer employees throughout the ranks are expensive to hire. And they’re expensive to lose, and even more expensive to replace. Passionate people volunteer their discretionary efforts and genius above and beyond the call of duty. They say good things about their company and the company’s products. They recommend their company as a great place to work. And they’re more likely to stick around, even if someone else offers them brand, spanking new jobs at better pay.

Who makes these golden employees feel all these warm and fuzzy feelings? Why, their bosses do, of course. And that would mean you.

So, while all those other candidates are yammering on and on and on (and, by the way, on) about their technical skills and years of experience, set yourself apart by talking a little bit about your journey to becoming an amazing manager.

Here are some of the questions you should be prepared to answer:

* What would you say are the characteristics of leader who keeps his/her team motivated and focused on the goal?
* As a manager, what do you consider to be your primary responsibility?
* Tell me about a time when you led your team through an extraordinary project or accomplishment.
* If you’ve been a manager before, talk about a time when you saved an otherwise great employee who was in danger of losing his/her job?
* What characteristics do you look for when interviewing people for jobs?
* What do you do when you see a high-potential employee’s performance begin to fail?
* What are your opinions about annual performance reviews?
* Let’s say you have to implement a major change inside your department. What steps would you take to get your team to help you make that change?
* Tell me about a time when you learned something about yourself when dealing with a challenging employee situation.
* Who was your most influential boss so far and what did you learn from that person?
* How did you grow as a result of your last job?

As a seasoned manager, or someone who is ready for that next step, you should be ready to have answers to these questions. Even if you haven’t been a manager yet, you should be thinking about these things now.

Here’s another tip: Don’t wait to be asked those questions…it could be that your interviewer may not be savvy enough to ask. But, if you volunteer a few well-thought out comments that demonstrate that you’re a sensitive, thoughtful, wise people leader – one who is also humble enough to know you have lots to learn from your own direct reports – you will send the hiring company the signal that there’s just something about you that they must have on their team.

A special note from Martha: If you’re a manager, your company is counting on you to be an engaging leader. But what exactly does that mean? And how do you do engagement? Just because you’re brilliant at your technical skills, that doesn’t mean that you’re a natural at people skills. New managers need a book that can help them figure it out in simple, straightforward ideas.

That’s why I wrote The Truth About Getting the Best From People. It’s a book made up of 49 short, simple truths designed to help new managers understand how their beliefs and behaviors directly impact their employees’ passion factor on the job.

Click on the title and check it out! I hope you’ll enjoy it!

What We Can Learn From Wal*Mart

Don't you just hate it when the "right thing to do" isn't necessarily the right thing to do? I especially hate it when there are so many facets to a tragic issue that when you take the time to disassemble the problem, the people who seem to be *most* in the right may actually be, after all, the Big Bad Meanie. Generally speaking, I'm thinking about life. Specifically speaking, I'm thinking about Wal*Mart and the tragic Shanks.

In case you were in Panama City on Spring Break this past week, I'll summarize for you: Debbie Shank, an employee of Wal*Mart, was in a catastrophic car wreck a few years ago leaving her permanently brain-damaged. Wal*Mart's health plan covered the initial round of medical care and her husband sued the trucking company that was party to the accident and won. After the lawyers took their share, the Shenks were left with, about $400,000. Here's the problem, the Wal*Mart health care contract that Debbie signed, when she was hale, hearty and hopeful, stipulates that the health care plan is reimbursed their funds with any money that is recovered from a legal settlement. So Wal*Mart, playing the role of Big Bad Meanie, sued the Shanks for their money and it went all the way to the Supreme Court, with Wal*Mart prevailing.

Well, they didn't actually prevail because the court of public opinion turned on Wal*Mart big-time. The Shanks' story has all the elements in it that would make Oliver Stone himself write a big, fat option check to the Shanks for the thrill and privilege of telling their story on the silver screen. The system working against the little guy. The divorce forced upon the Shanks so Debbie can qualify for public assistance. Her husband's two jobs just to make ends meet. And then the real gut-puncher, the death of their son in Iraq. To make matters worse, Debbie's short-term memory is kaput, so every time she hears that her son was killed it's as if she hears it for the first time. How do I know this? CNN filmed the moment when their other son tells her. (A nasty bit of cinema-verite if you ask me; the way I figure it is that they should just stop telling her. Especially while the cameras are rolling.)

Public opinion weighed in and after going through all that trouble -- and dragging the Shanks through all that heart-ache, Wal*Mart backed down and said they could keep the money. Okay fine. I'm sure that Wal*Mart spent massive amounts of cash in legal fees (even if they could get their lawyers at low low prices) and public relations expenses (ditto with the prices). The Shanks were dragged through the heart-ache mud. The only people who come out winning here are lawyers, who, I'm sure, earned every single penny.

Another loser here, it should be remembered, is Wal*Mart's health plan. Now it's liable to another appeal from an equally tragic, needy family for whom poverty is just one car wreck away.

So over this weekend I started wondering if there couldn't be a better way. And I think I've found one that would work at least in some cases: Tap into the individual's need to make a difference.

Let me back up just a little bit: I'm working with a client right now who wants to know what makes its culture so special and why do people love working there. This is a high customer-service client, so it's imperative that the passion volume is turned up to high almost all the time. So what keeps everyone so passionate about their jobs and the organization itself? Their answer is the same: "I can make a difference here."

Then the stories begin to unfold: One employee's wife was dying of cancer right after giving birth to their third son. Naturally the employee had to spend the entire time at home -- a precious year that he will never get back. But the problem was that the company's disability policy at the time only covered the employees themselves, not their family members. So what did the employees do? They all gave their paid time off to the guy so he would still be paid but stay at home with his beloveds.

This culture of making a difference happens in small ways, like coworkers showing up to help someone move over the weekend -- unrequested, unannounced, they're there. The HR manager took it upon herself to help an employee make all the funeral arrangement for his dad because he was too much at a loss as to where to even begin. And then she showed up at the funeral herself. When Katrina blew a lot of people out of their homes, these employees volunteered their time and smarts to build a state-of-the-art shelter from an abandoned Montgomery Ward building, throwing in all their off-duty hours and energy to relieve the suffering of others. While I wasn't there, I don't believe there was any talk of, "gee, would this set a precedent?" I think it conversation was mainly around, "What can I do now?"

So let's go back to our friends at Wal*Mart. It employs 1.3 million people in the United States, all of whom are very busy individuals, with their own families and, perhaps, stretch bank accounts. And Wal*Mart has a very active charitable giving program, as demonstrated on their website, giving much more money to many more causes that are much more distant than the wrenching suffering of one family on the brink of catastrophe. The Clinton Global Initiative University is richer by $500,000. But its health care plan is now poorer by $200,000 give take. And that happy face is wearing a bit of a black eye. That's a fact.

But wouldn't it have been so much better if the Wal*Mart culture as a whole prompted its 1.3 million people (or at least the ones who want to) to pull a couple of bucks out of their wallets to donate to the Shanks relief fund? Not everyone can spare a dollar or two when budgeting their lives on a salesclerk's salary, granted. But surely, a culture of voluntary giving, especially to one of their own, would certainly have raised far more than $200,000. Depending on how they structured the voluntary giving effort, the Shanks could either have kept the $200,000 without the heartache and sleepless nights. Or maybe they could actually have received as much as $3 million from their Wal*Mart family members.

I don't know this for a fact but I would be very surprised if Wal*Mart doesn't invite its employees to donate to such community groups as United Way. No complaints about United Way, but a bloodless pledge on a sheet of paper to an organization that has no immediate relationship to each individual doesn't really help with that powerful, rewarding feeling of making a difference.

But donating money, even if it's a dollar, or loose change in the bottom of our purse, could have made a huge difference. To the Shanks. To Wal*Mart. But mainly to the people who work for Wal*Mart who are looking for a sense of community, a sense of belonging, a sense of the *power* to really make a difference to someone close to them.

It's about the culture of giving, of voluntary effort, of family, of belonging. Companies are really keen these days on corporate social responsibility. But charity really does begin at home. And from an employer's point of view, that could conceivably be the most powerful stay factor you could ever dream of.

And get this: It's free!

Just a Thought: What do you do with your dearly departed?

If you've been following this blog for a while, you probably already know that there's nothing I love more than the thrill and privilege of interviewing ordinary people who love their work. There's something wonderful about sitting down one-on-one with strangers, biding a little bit of time so they can forget the recorder is going (the geeks, of course, are always fascinated by my digital recorder and the mic that looks like a robot...the uber-geeks can't resist saying to me, "you still using that?" Then I have to cop to the fact that it was only in the last year I moved from magnetic tape).

Anyway, before too long, the two of us find a way to tap into the rich vein of what really makes them passionate about their work and then an anthem to joy springs forth. And I get the most amazing, soaring sentiments of what it really feels like to be in just the right place on this earth. It almost always ends up in tears (see Feb 22 posting on this particular topic).

So yesterday I was transcribing one of these interviews for a client, and this particular person was telling the story of how she left the company of her passion and then returned a couple of years later -- a transformed person returns to a company that also transformed in the interim and now the match is sweet and perfect.

That got me to wondering: How can employers keep a rich resource that has traditionally been put in the talent dumpster: The employees who leave -- either voluntarily or involuntarily? Sure, we have the traditional exit interview; but you and I both know how useless those things are. (I had one of those once, a dispirited, disinterested event governed by soulless questions on a clipboard. I wanted to lean over to my interviewer and say, "let's face it, you wish you were me, don't you?")

Then, of course, there are the post-exit interviews, which I suppose are even better. Most people are reluctant to burn bridges -- at least not right away. So they may be more forthcoming three to six months later, a time frame where their passion for (or rage at) the former employer is still fresh enough to get some salient details, but they're far enough away from the old job that they can be a little more thoughtful in their advice and insights.

And then, of course, there are the "why do you stay" interviews, which I especially like because they capture what's working in your culture by people who are still invested in making their work work. This way companies can build on those positive strengths.

But there's something else, something more, that can be done -- especially with those people who have truly left and don't necessarily expect to come back. Keep in touch with them.

What happened with my interviewee (let's call her Ann) is that, thinking she had reached a stopping place with the company, she resigned to take a growth job at her city mayor's office. But one of the people inside the first company -- one of her coworkers, but not someone in her department -- kept in touch with her. Just lunch now and then. No biggee.

But one day, a few years later, this coworker was tasked with writing the job description of Ann's dream. So what did she do? She asked Ann would she please, as a friend, help write the job description? And, oh by the way, would Ann consider taking the job herself?

Ann didn't say yes right away (she had obligations with the mayor), but she did say yes. And now here she is sitting with me rhapsodizing about how she still loves this company, how she loves her work and how she adores her coworkers. She's baaaaaack!

There are so many reasons why people leave. But those reasons aren't permanent ones. People change and grow. Companies change and grow. Stay in touch with all your people, especially the dearly departed. Even the ones you might have had to fire or lay off.

(Or even the ones who might have fired you! David Neeleman, founder of JetBlue, was actually fired by Ann Rhoades, when they both worked at Southwest Airlines. But when the time came to get JetBlue into the air, who did he tap to be one of the cofounding executives and to head up the HR function? The very person who gave him the boot years earlier.)

Time was once that when people quit or were fired, they were so gone. Not anymore. We now have boomerangs, but the only way they'll come back to you is if you keep track of their flight pattern and catch them on the rebound.

Just a thought.

Your Employee Awards Program May Be Working Against You

When I was fresh out of college I had a job that anyone would consider very cool, even today. I worked for a celebrity – better yet, a celebrity with a cause. Even better, a celebrity with an environmental and animal rights cause! In exchange for the cool factor, here was the deal: I would have to acknowledge the fact that the money coming into this celebrity’s “society” was best spent saving the planet and all the itty bitty critters who reside thereupon. In other words: the pay was way crappy.

Here were the numbers: I brought home one check a month. That check was made out for $525. Out of that check came my $275 a month rent in my West Village apartment in New York (you don’t want to know how long ago this was; but it wasn’t really that long ago, really. No. Really. See? No lines.). The rest had to go for everything else. By the time the end of the month rolled around, it was a question of quarters for the bus, or quarters for the Laundromat. Fortunately, I liked walking. (Still do, even though now my walking trail is 4 miles in the Santa Fe desert, as opposed to 40 blocks up Lexington Avenue.)

So when the holiday season came around, I did what any young New York ingénue did in those days: I was the seasonal help at Macy’s Herald Square store. So I worried about money some (a lot) but being new to this working girl business, the idea of getting any kind of holiday cheer from my celebrity boss hadn’t crossed my mind. Until I went to work one day in mid-December (no, I won’t tell you what year, but if you are reading this, chances are good you were alive then).

Sitting on my desk was one big honking crock of mustard, French no less – presumably a nod to my celebrity boss’s nation of origin, but most likely picked up on the fly at the local Gristede’s. Alrighty then. Mustard. Okay. Maybe if I watered it down, I could make some tasty mustard soup. A potage a la moutarde, as it were.

As I stood there staring at it, wondering how to take the red wax seal off the jar without damaging one of my two table knives, in swept the executive director of this organization. All of us coworkers in this room looked up from our identical jars of mustard and gaped at our boss.

“Look! Look what Monsieur Celeb gave me!” she crowed as she twirled in her full-length fur coat. “Next year I hope it’s a seal coat!”

The workplace is a gold mine for hurt-so-good stories, isn’t it? And this is one of my juiciest tidbits. I think all the players in this story (other than myself, of course) have long departed this planet, and I don’t want to say anything bad about the organization that has survived. (It's still doing great, important work.) So I tell this story only as an example of a really stupid management trick that caused at least one person to quit pretty much on the spot – well, after the Macy’s check cleared.

The reason why I’m telling the story today is to show one extreme example of how a thoughtless recognition gesture can really backfire. And now I’ll talk about how your rewards/recognition program can serve your organization by not only making your employees feel great about themselves and the group they work for, but also to reinforce your values and, presumably, a culture of engaged people working together for the same, shared goals.

Your rewards and incentives should absolutely mirror the values of your organization. So if you want employees to put original thought and creativity into their work, put original thought and creativity into the way you thank them for the work they do!

Run-of-the-mill acrylic or gold-toned doodads just don’t cut it anymore. Unless they’re, of course, really big and the recipients love to have larger-than-life trophies that acknowledge their record-breaking performance last quarter (I’m thinking of a few sales reps that I know who have zero worksplace left on their desks because of all their hard-earned trophies). But other than that scenario, I would guess that most high performers have enough coffee mugs and husks of deflated mylar balloons cluttering up their lives.

If you want to reward your employees for doing really thoughtful work for your organization and its common cause, make sure your rewards reflect that same level of thoughtfulness and originality. Here are some ideas from my new book (it’s out!): The Truth About Getting the Best From People.

Lavish the recognition; spare the rewards. When it comes to intangible forms of recognition (we’re not talking paychecks and pensions here), what really drives people everywhere is the knowledge that they’re being noticed for investing their individual efforts to the big picture mission. No one likes to be invisible or a number. Everyone has a name, face and a life story. That’s how we all prefer to be recognized first. Know your direct reports – and preferably their direct reports – by name. Know a little bit about who they are, what brings them to your team, and what their dreams are. And let them know you know.

When you do give tangible rewards, make those rewards specific to the person or to the accomplishment that’s being celebrated. Even a relatively “catch them doing something right” $20 spot reward should have significance that speaks to them personally. Challenge yourself to come up with specific ideas for each employee, with the idea of making sure the reward relates to something that gives them joy in life. Even if they love coffee, try to steer clear of the coffee mug solution. Get them a gift certificate to their favorite coffee store instead. Or if they’re readers, a gift card that’s sufficient to pay for one full-price hardcover book will tell them that you pay attention to who they are in addition to what they’re doing for you.

Give them a gift certificate to their future. When the reward is for a significant accomplishment or service, give them something that will help them build their future. Send them to a key industry conference, for instance. Or offer to pay for a college course of their choice.

Give them the chance to benefit the future of others.So many big winners of annual employee competitions go off-site to luxurious resorts where they party and listen to motivational speakers to pump them up for the next year. Since you’ve got all this great passion gathered in one place, give them the platform instead. Get someone to interview them about their secrets of success and gather their collective wisdom and insights to share with the rest of the company as an internal training program.

Let people see that you’re trying. Person-to-person appreciation doesn’t come easy for many managers. If saying nice things to an employee’s face makes you feel awkward and vulnerable, your employees probably already know this about you. So don’t hide it. Deal with it. Some managers who are struggling with this personal behavior challenge will put 10 pennies in one pocket, shifting a penny to another pocket every time they express sincere appreciation to an employee. Just because you may have to force yourself to do it this way, doesn’t make the appreciation itself any less authentic. You are working hard to integrate this habit into your daily worklife. And your efforts will be noticed. And your people might even recognize you for it.

No matter what form it takes, sincere appreciation is an essential part of a workplace culture in which people throughout the ranks behave respectfully and encouragingly to each other. This is a way of life, not just some program goal to meet. Your people will know if you’re speaking from the heart or reading from a script.

It really is the thought that counts. So when you want to recognize your employees in a way that’s meaningful to them, put some thought behind it!

(And pass the mustard.)